A Continual Conversation

Prayer should be a continual conversation with the Lord. Why do I start my prayer as if I'm writing a letter? When I spend an entire day in the room with my kids and try to start a new conversation, do I say "Hi .... , first I'd like to say...."? Of course not. I just spit it out. I have a friend, people (including myself) would consider her my bff, who I get to see mostly at church. On Sunday. Or Wednesday. Or an occasional Friday. And there are times we don't get to say "Hi!" We just continue talking to one another as if our conversation never ends. Shouldn't that be how it is with The One who is always with us? Always. With. Us. My conversations with Jesus are continual. I'm constantly asking for his direction on one matter or another, for his grace in situations where I don't see it, or in laughing with him at the antics of my children. Sometimes I get caught up in "appropriate prayer presentation" that I forget I'm not speaking with some magic genie in the air, but I'm in the presence of the Most High God and am talking to him as a friend, a Father, my first Love! So, next time I pray. Perhaps I need to be more aware of what I'm doing and not just the "how" to do it!

What Am I Doing?

Has anyone else ever wondered, "Is this REALLY what being a parent is about?" I'm sitting on the couch at about 10:30 on a Friday morning watching Team Umizoomi with a 3 and 2 yr old. I know...be jealous. I'm slowly coming to the realization that this is ok. This moment is not making me a failure as a mother (or aunt). I often find myself trying to be who people imagine me being. I've often been informed about how fortunate I am to be so "well off" and surely, I can't imagine the challenges others go through that have to work and earn a paycheck and live without a full time baby sitter on hand. (We've lived with my Mother-in-Love our entire married life and that's how she's been viewed by some.) While Grandma is ever so gracious to be such a large part of our lives, she still allows her son and I to be Dad and Mom. These ideas others have about our family dynamics does not change what is true...Parenting is hard. The decisions my hubby and I have to make for our family sometimes drives us to tears and desperation where all we can do is hit our knees and cry out to Father God for direction. So, what am I doing? How am I living a life that glorifies my God and still meets the demands of wife, mother, Worship Pastor, friend, daughter, sister and everything else? I pray. I sing. I smile. I laugh. I cry. I play. I give kisses and hugs and fix boo-boos. I pretend. I make a pretty rockin' fort, if I do say so myself! I love. THAT is what I'm doing. And it is good. ~*Hope*~

But above all WE LOVE

My life as a mom can be the most fun and exciting adventure there is! I get to experience it all. I have experienced growing a person (Or three) inside my body. I have felt three precious lives move and toss and turn from the inside. I've been kicked in places some couldn't imagine and lived to smile and laugh and tell about it. I've watched three tiny people come into this world with awe over what a miracle life really is. I've nourished them. I've clothed, bathed, rocked, snuggled, and on and on... I get to be the center of their universe for a moment and know that beyond anything or anyone else, they.want.me. I am their comforter. I am their teacher. I am their dinosaur wrangler (because we don't do monsters at our house). I am the "best mom [they've]ever had"! I get to laugh and play and kiss and hug three precious ones for just a moment. Then...my joy becomes more than I can bear. The constant touching and pulling and needing just brings me to my knees where at times I want to throw my hands in the air and scream "I AM DONE!" My dream world of perfect children is non-existent. It's also irrational to expect them to be. It's funny how a moment when my two-year-old and I seem to go head to head in a match that is just unfair, blows up into something out of control. "Listen and obey!" I say. But he hears nothing. Today, after such a collision, I came to my dining room. I walked over to where I have the following saying hanging on the wall: In this house We laugh...a lot We are patient...most of the time We tell the truth We support each other We hug often We make mistakes We never give up We always forgive We keep our promises We always have fun But above all WE LOVE So, big mom fail. In the midst of trying to instill character into my children, do I lose sight of "above all WE LOvE"? I get frustrated and angry. I don't believe these are necessarily bad things. I do believe they can become bad when it becomes sinning in our anger and frustration. Before you start allowing your mind to run off with "How did she sin while disciplining?" I'll tell you it wasn't sin in physical correction but my tongue. Allowing my voice to raise to an octave no human being should ever have to hear and lashing out to get a point across that could very well have waited until I had a time to run to my Savior and ask for a gentle word. I want to leave an impression on my children as a woman full of grace AND a gracious word. Even when correcting unacceptable behavior. I'm thankful for my upbringing. Im thankful for the God of the Universe who chose me to take care of these precious lives. By His Grace and Mercy will I accomplish the goal placed before me. ~*Hope*~ "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." Proverbs 10:12

2015 Begins

2015 has come on us like a lion! (Feel free to begin humming "my God's not dead"). Once December rolled around I told Chris the month would fly by. Sometimes, I wish I weren't right... Last year was a great year and many things happen in a year. In short we celebrated a daddy birthday in March, a 2nd birthday in April, a 6th birthday in July, and a 1st birthday combined with mommy birthday in November. Big things that happened: Nicholas fell out of the treehouse, and survived! Audrey ended up in the ER after having (what we know now as) a febrile seizure. Collin has been good at avoiding serious incidents and I'm totally okay with that! There are no potential additions to the Slegers family as of this moment and we haven't done much more than work, homeschool, ministry and more life! We are enjoying life as a family of 5. Days are long but the year still seems to fly by! Parenting three children is challenging and crazy and fun and so full and rewarding! I'm still doing the mom thing. I hear this position is one that will be forever, but my job description will change and adapt as the children grow. I'm clinging to these last days of safety gates, baby monitors, and little tumbles as Audrey is discovering the new freedom of being mobile. She is 14 mos and still not walking but I'm not worried as I know she will be there before we know it! I love my cuddles with the Terrific-Two-Year-Old. Nicholas has two modes: go and sleep. Most of the time I wonder if he actually just closes his eyes and pretends to sleep because he is still moving even when he sleeps! Haha. Collin is kind and thoughtful and generous...until it comes time to play his electronics. Then you better watch out! What is it with boys and their video games? This year we are hoping for some great new and exciting adventures in our life! Some are as simple as eating more natural foods and less processed foods and sugar. Some goals as big as hoping to purchase a home! Chris and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary this year, it's time for this! It's exciting and scary. It's going to probably stretch and change our family dynamic in ways that may feel very uncomfortable at times, but this is a good thing. I don't know if/when I will be posting again. It could come in a week or two. It could be another year before we get a moment to stop and write another blog. But, I hope to do what I am called to do to the best of my abilities. Talk to you soon!