The Twelve Opossums

Someone emailed this to me a while back and I just had to post it!

The 12 Opossums

The following is from a lady in Oregon. It is priceless! The Bible explained by kids - truth has been redefined!


One of our favorite jobs has been leading junior church. We try to do more than baby-sit our church's beloved little ankle-biters during their time in our special junior church facility. We aim to give them a solid background in biblical history. At the end of each year, we give them pencils and paper and ask them to chronicle what they have learned. This assignment never fails to elicit some intriguing responses. In case you're a little foggy on your biblical history, let our junior church students help you with this complete overview of the Bible, compiled from
their essays:



In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, Darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,'but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty
soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids
was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top ten commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua, who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 Porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the
Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead. Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven, but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the
book of Revolution.


There! Now you understand it.

What Are We Doing It For?

Christmas is only three days away! It's exciting for us because it will be Collin's very first Christmas. We may have overdone it a little on the gifts for him...especially since he's not even AWARE of them...but we still want this to be a memorable one. This time in our lives open us up for many possibilities. Will we read the Christmas Story evey Christmas Eve? How about the traditional Christmas jammies? Pop corn? Hot Cocoa? Movies? Will we spend the holiday with Gramma or Nana? Will we still do the Live Nativity? Oooo! We could go look at the Christmas lights! Excitement is filling the Slegers home these days. Perhaps the new life that has been brought to our home is why we can look at things in a new light. But as we prepare for this first, what are we doing it for? How will these things bring glory to the Reason for the season? Hopefully as we all get caught up in the "hustle and bustle" of these things, we can stop and make sure we are not trying to replace what this day was meant to represent.

You are all loved, and we hope you have a very, very Merry CHRISTmas!

Do you ever get so excited about something.....

I am about the bounce off the walls...no, I haven't had a lot of caffeine or sugar....I'm ecstatic about the previews of our first professional photos of Collin. We went to Art and Soul Studios and met the greatest photographer, Angel Porch. You should check out her site... www.angelporchphotography.com ...she has the greatest ideas and she's already put up a 'sneak peek' of some of our photos on her blog. I am so excited about them, they are AMAZING and those are only a few of so many shots she had taken. (I'm a little discouraged about how "big" I still am after having this little one, but it's not the photographers fault, it's all those chocolate chip cookies.) We were at her studio for a little over an hour and she was great. Collin took all the attention in stride, he didn't even really get fussy...that is until we tried to put him in the tea cup...but everyone has to draw the line somewhere right? Anyway...I think I'm going to look at the pictures again, they make me happy!

Does it seem COLD in here?

Well it finally happened. I never expected it to be so soon. I never even realized how difficult something that usually seems so small to the world could be so big to me.
Collin has his first cold. Big deal right? UHH...YEAH! To me it is a big deal. He was totally not himself. He fussed. He cried. He would not sleep. He just looked at me with those big blue eyes and seemed so helpless. And I could not do anything about it. All I could do was pray.
I prayed, Chris prayed, gramma prayed. And finally out of what I think was pure exhaustion Collin fell asleep. Do you know what happened next? After about 3 hours of sleep I was awakened to the beautiful sound of my little one cooing and talking like everything was fine! I was so excited that I fed him, changed him, and wanted to have a little "play time"....it was 2 in the morning...but I was thrilled to see the smile on that precious face! I still took him to the doctor to have him examined and that is where I found out that he has a cold. Isn't it amazing how just talking with a doctor can make things seem like "It's gonna be all right"? Well...that's what is going on here this weekend. I'm happy to say that Collin seems to be recooperating and becoming more like himself as the time goes by.
Oh yeah! The doctor also told me how to get rid of the baby's severe case of CRADLE CAP! His head is getting so smooth. I'm pretty excited about that!

Life As It Is

We seem to take things as they are. Or perhaps that's what we would like to do. Do you ever hear something that someone took the wrong way and think to yourself..."wow, I never said that! I would never be so cruel." Sometimes when we mean things for the good, the enemy can sneak in and blow everything out of context. We need to be aware of not just what we say, but how people are perceiving us. It seems like the reality is that others see us as 5% actuality and 95% perception. Just a thought to ponder....

Hello World!

We've decided to blog! This is new to us so bear with us as we figure out this new world of updating our life events.

We have been married since June of 2005 and marriage is definitely the way to go! What an adventure the Lord has us on...Chris is our church's Childrens Pastor and Hope leads the music ministry there. We have a deep love and appreciation for one another and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for our family. The love we carry for one another would not be possible if it were not for Jesus. He is the center of our world and He makes life the best we can have.

For those of you who have not heard, we just recently welcomed a new addition to our family. His name is Collin and he is amazing! He is just about two months old and we'll be seeing how much he weighs here pretty soon. He seems to be growing so quickly and we just can't wait to see the next thing he learns. He currently loves to smile at Mommy and will stop doing just about anything (crying, fussing, cooing) to hear someone sing to him. We have him on a pretty good schedule...although it tends to be a very flexible schedule as we are deeply involved in ministry. He is eating well, sleeping well, and he loves to sit up and see what's going on. He has been holding his head up pretty much since the day he was born, so he's getting pretty good at that too!

This is us and we are Forever Blessed!