Be Careful What You Pray For

 I'm not one for new year's resolutions. Every year my resolve is the same...Peace. However, January 3, I wrapped my arms around my husband and said, "THIS is our year, babe." He turned around from practicing the piano and said, "Yeah it is!" I could tell he had misunderstood and I quickly said, "This is our year to start planning for a new kitchen." 

You see, as our family has grown to 7, the kitchen did not. I had hoped for an update, but was perfectly happy (so I thought) with it as it was. Then, I began to realize what life in our kitchen would look like with teaching basic life skills and things didn't look so exciting. We could have functioned with it just as it was. Food would still be prepared and dishes still washed and on and on... but a gal can dream, can't she?

When Chris realized what I was saying, he immediately felt the weight of what I was suggesting... "Well, then we will pray every day and ask the Lord to provide, because I certainly can't." So we prayed together and decided it would be added to our prayer requests during our nightly family prayer time. I will tell you, I was perfectly content with leaving this issue at the feet of Jesus. I continued my usual daily routine of caring for little humans, loads of laundry and lots of time cleaning up the kitchen because the kids kept spilling water on the floor AND NOT CLEANING IT UP!!!! Emphasis on that last part is intentional. One night, after everyone was in bed, I was finishing up the kitchen and once again, water was on the floor. I begrudgingly wiped up the spill and threw the towel in the laundry. As I walked over the spot, I realized there was more water. And I could see a teeny-tiny crack in the floor tile. And water was coming up from under the tile. (Yes, I did have to apologize to five little people for blaming them for the "spills".) I went and got Chris to let him know something was up. Wanna know what date this was? January 11...I know because I went back to my prayer journal and that's the date. 8 days after "This is our year, babe."

This story is long and could be even longer if I keep up every detail so I'll try to make this as short as possible...

Water on the floor led to digging up a little slab to access pipe...pipe wasn't the issue so we called a plumber...plumber said, "call your insurance."... had contractor come and say, "call your insurance" .... we reluctantly call insurance only to go back and forth with them ... they finally settled on what the would help with and we didn't have enough ... then we did get the $$ side (or should I say $$$$$$$$$$$ side?) addressed ... work began, tears were shed, trench through the entire house, kitchen, living, master and two baths unusable for just over 5 mos, a move to Grandma's house for those five months, meeting our new friend, Jorge, plumbing replaced, everything rebuilt and TA-DA!!! NEW LIVING SPACE!

I will tell you, it took a lot longer to go through that all than it did to type it. However, what I thought would be "Let's start dreaming and praying for possibly saving up a little to begin work on a better functioning kitchen" became not only an ask, but has been provided through the Lord's provision in every aspect! What I thought would be an easy task, was far more challenging than I could have ever imagined. There was a lot of prayer that went into this process. My children witnessed more tears from me than I had hoped they would see. My girls went and emptied out their piggy banks so mommy could have her new kitchen and stop crying. BTW, the tears were attributed to insurance dealings and logistics, not the kitchen...although, the giant trench in the house didn't help any. 

As we came to the end of this process, we walked through the house with the kids. Anna (7) was with Chris and said, "Daddy, after this, let's tell mommy not to ask God for any more kitchens." So, be careful what you pray for...your children just might witness HIS answer. 🥰

Homeschool Room Update

 I’ve loved the dining space in our house since we first saw it over five years ago. The focal point has always been the wall over the floating cabinet that’s original to the house. Once I settled on “gather” I went in search of something large enough to make a statement. It was actually very difficult to find because I loved the word “gather” before it was trendy. But anyhoo... this is our only dining space in the house but also serves as our main homeschool area. We had a neighbor gift us an old whiteboard that we loved and on the opposite wall, I had cork boards and “school” stuff. It’s been that way pretty much the entire time we’ve owned the house but I was definitely ready for a change. As much as I liked the school aspect of the room, it’s always been a bit of a personal annoyance to be eating in what resembled a school-room. So, I finally bit the bullet and took everything off the walls. I filled the 7,000 nail and tack holes and gave it a fresh coat of white paint! If you didn’t know, I love the color white. I’d probably have more white in our home if I didn’t mind the upkeep with a family of seven. So, all of this to say, our room is pretty much done for our 20-21 school year!!! 

This IS the Day

My journal entry from August 25:

I was just on facebook, commenting in jest, about the catastrophe 2020 is...and I was immediately convicted.

"Did I not make 2020, too?" - I almost audibly heard in my spirit.

THIS IS THE DAY WHICH THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT.  Psalm 118:24

It's true there have been major challenges this year for ALL of us. I'm fully aware it's been worse for some and great for others. However, this is [still] the day the Lord has made and I choose to rejoice in it!

Today, I get to plan our homeschool year. I'm not stressed or angry or frustrated. I don't have someone telling me what's the best way of teaching the children I know better than anyone else. I don't say that to boast, but because it's merely true. I know these "plans" are written in pencil and can easily be changed if and when the plan doesn't fit the child. THIS IS THE DAY

Today, I can look back on the year we've had so far and see blessing over blessing over blessing!

Every need met. Every challenge overcome. Because...THOSE ARE THE DAYS.

Food has been on the table for every meal. Bills paid to enjoy the luxuries of electricity, indoor plumbing and a comfortable climate control. More time spent with family to remember THIS IS THE DAY. 

So much time to prioritize what matters and to recognize the difference of a need and a want. 

A mirror to realize I was a liar when I said I don't spend more time with, or do more, because "I'm too busy". In reality, I just didn't want to. Still, THIS IS THE DAY.

I rejoice in all the time I've been able to fill my mind with the Truth that never changes, God's Holy Word. (Psalm 33:4-9) 

I rejoice in weird Z00M birthday parties that would have gone uncelebrated if we didn't have the blessing of a virus. 

I rejoice in the family of seven who lives within these walls. So much laughter. So much joy. Because THIS IS THE DAY.

I rejoice in friends and family who have remained healthy AND those who have recovered from sickness. Did you know - when you're sick, it is STILL A DAY THE LORD HAS MADE?!

The blessing of TODAY will far outshine the shadows. 

I don't know who this post is for. Perhaps, just a personal reminder to look back on. But this is just a little reminder of a bigger picture than just myself.

THIS IS THE DAY

"You crown the YEAR with your GOODNESS..."

Psalm 65:11

Asher's Birth Story

Asher's Birth Story

I know, I know. It's been over six months since Asher was born, so why am I just now getting to writing his birth story? 
Well, first off, because I need to remember.
Second, because I said I would.

I went into labor as usual...small contractions here and there. Make sure I do "all the things" to assure I'm really in labor and finally decide to head into the hospital to have this baby.

I check in, get hooked up to monitors and such (because...hospital) and answer the questions. 
"Is this your first baby?" - no.
"How many pregnancies/live births?" - this will be my 5th.
-insert jaw drop...I don't know why this is the reaction when people hear that...
"OK, so you know what to expect...we will monitor you and then admit you."

We waited. And monitored. And waited. No progress. Contractions stop and for the first time in five pregnancies I get sent home for "false labor". {Head hung in shame. Now, I finally understand how one might not know for sure if they're in labor.}

Fast forward about two weeks...
I begin to have, odd? feelings. I refuse to go in to the hospital again until I am 100% sure this baby is coming. I don't feel the usual waves of contractions. It was more like a constant cramping in my lower back. And not like, oh my leg is sore, cramps...more like, I'm gonna puke or punch someone pain. I decide to try and sleep it off. All through the night it seems to dwindle down and I wake again with my belly just as big as the night before. I climb out of bed, quite defeated, and head to the loo and realize "something" is happening. (Keeping this as PG as possible in case we have any squeamish guys reading with us.) I'm still not convinced it's labor so I call my newfound friend, who pretty much kept me alive during this severe HG pregnancy, (who also happens to be a L&D nurse) and she comes TO MY HOUSE to check on me. 

Let's add a little funny to the story, because this is real life Y'all... She comes to the house to actually CHECK check me...as in, "you've dilated a centimeter" check...as this is happening, Nicholas walks into the room and let's just say, he may be scarred for life. It's a good thing, all was covered and all he saw was said nurse-friend reaching under my blanket.

So, on with our story.

"You just went from a 5 to a 6 in that one contraction." It's baby time! Can I be honest? I still wasn't convinced. 

A moment of silence for every momma who has been there.

I was told it would probably be a good idea to start heading to the hospital in the next 30 mins to an hour unless I just really wanted to have this baby at home. Which, I believe my precious friend would have been MORE than willing to do a home delivery for me. She stayed with me and massaged my back. She put my diffuser on for me and played the most beautiful and peaceful worship music and just stayed with me while I labored a bit longer at home on my big bouncy ball. I have to say...if I would have known what was to come, I probably would have stayed home in those peaceful moments. Because the difference of a hospital room and your bedroom are so very different.

Arrangements are quickly made for someone to come watch the kids while we headed to the hospital to have this baby. I was feeling the full force of contraction on top of contraction as Chris and Stacey (my nurse-friend) walk me to the van. 

Once at the hospital, I was so nauseous and certain there was going to be a baby born within the next couple hours. I'm wheeled up to triage quickly and I apologize to the wheel chair man for not being a better conversationalist. He didn't seem to mind. 

He wheels me up to the check in desk and I'm handed ANOTHER card to fill out and I'm trying to answer questions in between the most intense pain I've ever experienced and the registrar says, "I'll enter this in a minute...GET HER IN A ROOM!" 

I'm wheeled into a triage room and greeted by a nurse and before she can even ask questions, I get out of the chair, start taking off my clothes and apologize for being so immodest, but I'm seriously not caring who is there and who isn't at this point! All I can say to her is, "I need my epidural." 

Nurse, "Well, I need to get this monitor on you and check your vitals and ...." BLAAAAAGH Basically, I needed to have my IV fluids in me before I could get this epidural. Oh, and they had to be sure I was actually in labor. 😑 Two new spectators, I mean nurses, come in to administer IV. They blow a vein. Ok, let's try the other arm. I will tell you, I literally had weekly or bi-weekly IV fluids my ENTIRE PREGNANCY and this was the first time this was an issue. They realize I would be better off in an actual room and wheel me upstairs, or somewhere else, and do the IV then. As soon as I'm in the room, I get the IV fluids going and they send in the epidural angel. He makes anyone besides Chris leave the room and starts spouting off his list of possible side effects and dangers of epidurals and I say, "cool. do it." 

And then. R E L I E F 

(This is about 2 hrs in up to this point. I'm dilated about an 8 and things are moving right along. This baby is coming quick!!!)

Friends come in and tell me how much I'm loved and pray with me and I realize, I'm feeling uncomfortable. No big deal, just press my handy-dandy button and I will get some extra relief. 

Somehow in this time, my epidural quit working. I let the nurses know things seem "off" so they shift my position a couple times and I begin to labor with pretty much full feeling ONLY IN MY ABDOMEN. After no relief and things getting even more painful, they call the anesthesiologist back in and he does a couple things. I'm not exactly sure how long this whole part took. But here is the part that has taken so long to share this story.

I was in the worst pain of my life. I had not prepared mentally for an unmedicated birth. I knew I was at 9cm and was so close to delivering. I began to moan in pain, I guess?, and I was having a hard time in the position I was in. The nurses stood around me trying to help alleviate my pain. Let's try on your left side...Ok, how about the right side...Would you be ok if we set the bed straight up and had you sit "Indian style"? WHY WOULDN'T THIS BABY COME OUT? They discussed amongst themselves and finally had me on all fours with my chest against the bed. 

And fear overcame me like I'd never felt before. You see, I suddenly couldn't breathe. Now, I was breathing, and they had an oxygen mask over me, but I couldn't get enough. And I was terrified. I was suddenly in my own world. My face was buried in the bed with the mask over my nose and I was hot. SO hot. And I gasped for every breath. I prayed those prayers you never thought you'd have to pray during delivery and all I could do was lean in and CRY OUT to Jesus. It may sound silly to those who have uneventful deliveries or to those who haven't yet experienced a birth, but all I could do is tell myself...breathe. breathe. breathe. Lord, am I going to die? breathe. breathe. breathe. Have I endured a horrid pregnancy only to have it end with devastation? breathe. breathe. breathe. 

And then there was no energy in my bones. I went limp and just was still. Eyes closed. breathe. breathe. breathe. I couldn't tell you who was in the room at this point. My eyes had been closed for well over three hours and I was done. Jesus? h e l p

I'm sure everyone was concerned at this point. No one understood why I was stuck at a 9 for over THREE HOURS. The epidural guy came back and basically offered to remove it and try again. We agreed, so he did an ice test to make sure all was well. (I believe they'd given me the maximum amount for my weight.) As he touched my skin with an ice cube, beginning with my legs, I could feel the touch but it wasn't cold. "Hummm." touch belly with ice. Cool, but not cold. "Really?" Then he touched it to my upper arm. I again told him it was cooler but still not ice cold. I hear something along the lines of "well, I just don't want it to shut down her lungs." breathe. breathe. breathe. Chris and I quickly agree, it's worth it if it will get things moving. So, he heads out to get the OK from the OB who is on call. 

While he is out, I kind of feel this "check" in my spirit...what if the epidural doesn't work again? What if I have to have a surgery to get this kid out? 

The OB comes in the room and tells me she's going to check me...still a 9. "Ok, Hope. Here's what's happening...you're not going to get to a 10. I don't know why, but it's just not happening for some reason. You have two options: 1. I can basically, go in and get him out OR 2. I will have to take you in for an emergency C-section." Now, I know there is a time and a place for them, but I thought to myself 'if the epidural isn't working now, then why would it work if I had a c-section? What if I feel them cutting me open and I die from pain!?!" Real thoughts, people. So I say, "Just get him out." OB tells me this isn't something she can do on her own..."YOU have to be fully in this, Hope, for it to work." 

"OK."

I pushed. Nothing. Hands reaching inside to feel for baby and he is NOT going to budge. The doctor later told me the baby's head was not facing up and down, it was wedged side-to-side. She stuck the vacuum on his head, did a quick turn and I was able to FINALLY push him out. I don't know how many pushes it took. But, I didn't know he was out. You see, when a baby's head is delivered, the rest of the body just kinda slides out like a water slide. Y'all...I felt EVERY INCH of that baby leave my body!

4:17pm. August 2.
I delivered my 9lb 6oz 22" baby BOY!!!

Wait...why isn't he crying? Can I hold him?

I wish my story ended there. I rejoiced at the place I was, yet, I knew. I didn't get to hold my baby boy. He was rushed over to the warming table and poked and prodded by a bajillion people who didn't love him like I did. And I sent his daddy to him. As things were cleaned up on my side of the room, I cried. Not out of worry or fear or anything other than probably just a wave of new momma hormones and my body shook like I'd never experienced before. We were asked to keep the room quiet (as I'd consented to visitors back in the room) and found out he was having difficulty "transitioning" outside the womb. I don't know if it was 15 minutes or 50 before I finally had this tiny giant baby placed in my arms by a NICU nurse who basically told me she would have to remove him from the room if we couldn't keep it quiet.

I looked her in the eye and said, "I know you're trying to avoid worrying me. I know I'm crying but I am ok...I'm not a first time momma so I don't want you to avoid telling me what's going on just to spare me unnecessary concern. What is wrong with him? I NEED you to tell me because I need to know specifically how to PRAY." 
She tried to explain in not so many words, that he was having some respiratory issues and trouble transitioning. So we all formed a prayer circle and prayed for this beautiful child who had just joined our family.

Needless to say, HE IS WELL AND THRIVING!

Six months later, Asher has fully established his position as the youngest Slegers sibling! He has topped the growth charts and has raving reviews from his pediatrician! I will tell you, he has brought such balance to our family. I don't know how to explain it, but he just makes sense. The Lord knew we needed Asher. He knew I.needed.Asher. I needed a rough pregnancy to remind me that without Christ, I can do nothing. When I am weak, HE is strong. When I wanted to quit, HE sustained me. When my body failed me and I felt alone, he brought me a friend to fill me up! I needed Asher just like I needed Collin. And Nicholas. And Audrey. And Anna. Because in each of these tiny humans, HE reveals more of himself through them. 

What a creative GOD we have! What love he has for us and what good and perfect gifts come from HIM alone! 

Long Short Update

I find myself coming back to this little blog thinking, "I totally need to update this online diary". I think it a lot. I just don't make time to do so. However, while looking up information on Columbus Day (AND finding it very difficult to get any real info and FACTS on the day) I felt the urge to document how stupid society has become. I've had a "check" in my spirit not to fume about the idiocy of our world so I will refrain...for the moment. Instead, I'm going to catch up on our family life.

We are now a family of SIX! We've moved to our first house. We love our neighborhood and our neighbors are pretty spectacular! Collin is in his fourth year of homeschool and doing well. Nicholas and Audrey are both in the works of pre-kindergarten activities. I'll start more "formal" schooling with Nicholas next year...probably. Living this life is quite amazing if you think about it. You can miss the bigger picture if you let yourself.

I took the kids to the zoo a couple weeks ago and we got to visit the zoo hospital, where they have a huge print of a flamingo probably with a vet. I had the kids start off by looking closely at the wall. It's made up of probably hundreds of little photographs that picture different animals. Next, I had them step back and look at the whole panel. Imagine their surprise when they saw the large image covering the wall! It was a perfect way to teach the children (and remind myself) how even though all we see is our own little story, it's part of a much bigger story that Christ has written out!

Deep in Thought

I don’t know if you’ve ever had those moments where you find yourself just lost in thoughts all jumbled into one massive lump of crazy and wonder if someone were to read your mind right now, you might end up in the looney bin... can I say “looney bin”!?... but anyway.
I’m there. It’s past midnight, when most of my thoughts can run steadily by without interruption by a tiny human who needs a drink or their tooshie wiped or a book read or a conflict refereed. I’ve just finished my Scripture writing and journaling for the evening and my heart is so full! Like, the almost about to explode, full. Explode from joy or anguish, I don’t really know, but it’s full. I feel so blessed. Not lucky, blessed. Luck has nothing to do with it. Only God.
I’m on a journey right now where I’m searching Scripture for truth. You see, I believe the Word of God is truth. I believe I can have a problem and the answer to that problem can be found in Scripture. I believe it is God breathed. I believe the Word of God is relevant today and always. I hear all too often how “The world is not the same as it once was. Change happens and people change too.” And that IS apparent. However, no matter how different we are and different the world is...God IS NOT. He hasn’t changed. And I’m clinging to that. I’m teaching my children that. And I’m making sure you’re reminded of that as well.

A Continual Conversation

Prayer should be a continual conversation with the Lord. Why do I start my prayer as if I'm writing a letter? When I spend an entire day in the room with my kids and try to start a new conversation, do I say "Hi .... , first I'd like to say...."? Of course not. I just spit it out. I have a friend, people (including myself) would consider her my bff, who I get to see mostly at church. On Sunday. Or Wednesday. Or an occasional Friday. And there are times we don't get to say "Hi!" We just continue talking to one another as if our conversation never ends. Shouldn't that be how it is with The One who is always with us? Always. With. Us. My conversations with Jesus are continual. I'm constantly asking for his direction on one matter or another, for his grace in situations where I don't see it, or in laughing with him at the antics of my children. Sometimes I get caught up in "appropriate prayer presentation" that I forget I'm not speaking with some magic genie in the air, but I'm in the presence of the Most High God and am talking to him as a friend, a Father, my first Love! So, next time I pray. Perhaps I need to be more aware of what I'm doing and not just the "how" to do it!

What Am I Doing?

Has anyone else ever wondered, "Is this REALLY what being a parent is about?" I'm sitting on the couch at about 10:30 on a Friday morning watching Team Umizoomi with a 3 and 2 yr old. I know...be jealous. I'm slowly coming to the realization that this is ok. This moment is not making me a failure as a mother (or aunt). I often find myself trying to be who people imagine me being. I've often been informed about how fortunate I am to be so "well off" and surely, I can't imagine the challenges others go through that have to work and earn a paycheck and live without a full time baby sitter on hand. (We've lived with my Mother-in-Love our entire married life and that's how she's been viewed by some.) While Grandma is ever so gracious to be such a large part of our lives, she still allows her son and I to be Dad and Mom. These ideas others have about our family dynamics does not change what is true...Parenting is hard. The decisions my hubby and I have to make for our family sometimes drives us to tears and desperation where all we can do is hit our knees and cry out to Father God for direction. So, what am I doing? How am I living a life that glorifies my God and still meets the demands of wife, mother, Worship Pastor, friend, daughter, sister and everything else? I pray. I sing. I smile. I laugh. I cry. I play. I give kisses and hugs and fix boo-boos. I pretend. I make a pretty rockin' fort, if I do say so myself! I love. THAT is what I'm doing. And it is good. ~*Hope*~

But above all WE LOVE

My life as a mom can be the most fun and exciting adventure there is! I get to experience it all. I have experienced growing a person (Or three) inside my body. I have felt three precious lives move and toss and turn from the inside. I've been kicked in places some couldn't imagine and lived to smile and laugh and tell about it. I've watched three tiny people come into this world with awe over what a miracle life really is. I've nourished them. I've clothed, bathed, rocked, snuggled, and on and on... I get to be the center of their universe for a moment and know that beyond anything or anyone else, they.want.me. I am their comforter. I am their teacher. I am their dinosaur wrangler (because we don't do monsters at our house). I am the "best mom [they've]ever had"! I get to laugh and play and kiss and hug three precious ones for just a moment. Then...my joy becomes more than I can bear. The constant touching and pulling and needing just brings me to my knees where at times I want to throw my hands in the air and scream "I AM DONE!" My dream world of perfect children is non-existent. It's also irrational to expect them to be. It's funny how a moment when my two-year-old and I seem to go head to head in a match that is just unfair, blows up into something out of control. "Listen and obey!" I say. But he hears nothing. Today, after such a collision, I came to my dining room. I walked over to where I have the following saying hanging on the wall: In this house We laugh...a lot We are patient...most of the time We tell the truth We support each other We hug often We make mistakes We never give up We always forgive We keep our promises We always have fun But above all WE LOVE So, big mom fail. In the midst of trying to instill character into my children, do I lose sight of "above all WE LOvE"? I get frustrated and angry. I don't believe these are necessarily bad things. I do believe they can become bad when it becomes sinning in our anger and frustration. Before you start allowing your mind to run off with "How did she sin while disciplining?" I'll tell you it wasn't sin in physical correction but my tongue. Allowing my voice to raise to an octave no human being should ever have to hear and lashing out to get a point across that could very well have waited until I had a time to run to my Savior and ask for a gentle word. I want to leave an impression on my children as a woman full of grace AND a gracious word. Even when correcting unacceptable behavior. I'm thankful for my upbringing. Im thankful for the God of the Universe who chose me to take care of these precious lives. By His Grace and Mercy will I accomplish the goal placed before me. ~*Hope*~ "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." Proverbs 10:12

2015 Begins

2015 has come on us like a lion! (Feel free to begin humming "my God's not dead"). Once December rolled around I told Chris the month would fly by. Sometimes, I wish I weren't right... Last year was a great year and many things happen in a year. In short we celebrated a daddy birthday in March, a 2nd birthday in April, a 6th birthday in July, and a 1st birthday combined with mommy birthday in November. Big things that happened: Nicholas fell out of the treehouse, and survived! Audrey ended up in the ER after having (what we know now as) a febrile seizure. Collin has been good at avoiding serious incidents and I'm totally okay with that! There are no potential additions to the Slegers family as of this moment and we haven't done much more than work, homeschool, ministry and more life! We are enjoying life as a family of 5. Days are long but the year still seems to fly by! Parenting three children is challenging and crazy and fun and so full and rewarding! I'm still doing the mom thing. I hear this position is one that will be forever, but my job description will change and adapt as the children grow. I'm clinging to these last days of safety gates, baby monitors, and little tumbles as Audrey is discovering the new freedom of being mobile. She is 14 mos and still not walking but I'm not worried as I know she will be there before we know it! I love my cuddles with the Terrific-Two-Year-Old. Nicholas has two modes: go and sleep. Most of the time I wonder if he actually just closes his eyes and pretends to sleep because he is still moving even when he sleeps! Haha. Collin is kind and thoughtful and generous...until it comes time to play his electronics. Then you better watch out! What is it with boys and their video games? This year we are hoping for some great new and exciting adventures in our life! Some are as simple as eating more natural foods and less processed foods and sugar. Some goals as big as hoping to purchase a home! Chris and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary this year, it's time for this! It's exciting and scary. It's going to probably stretch and change our family dynamic in ways that may feel very uncomfortable at times, but this is a good thing. I don't know if/when I will be posting again. It could come in a week or two. It could be another year before we get a moment to stop and write another blog. But, I hope to do what I am called to do to the best of my abilities. Talk to you soon!

A Lot Happens In A Year

Holy laziness! Has it really been a year since I've posted. I blame it on pregnancy. I blame it on old age (I am now nearing 34, after all), I blame it on...life. I chose to spend the past year with people and not sitting at my desk for hours on end. I've lived life. WITHOUT a blog. But I would like to keep up on posting these things that happen in the Slegers home. Here is a little note I had prepared for our 2013 Christmas family newsletter that never went out. I'll do my best to update things that have changed since I wrote this: DATED December, 2013 I am sitting in the car, enjoying the quiet of three littles resting as we travel to Georgia for Mom's graduation. This allows time to reflect on our family and this past year... We started the year, as most do, with great expectations of another year of blessings. Another year of pressing on toward the goals we felt the Lord had called us to. Another year to become closer as a family. Another year to do and be better. 2013 has been a big year in the Slegers household. We have been covered in blessings beyond our imagination and are constantly shaking our heads in disbelief as the Lord answers prayer after prayer. (As if we expect him to fail or just pass by without giving us a second thought.) Chris is our first example of God's favor. The weather in Oklahoma has been unusual this year. As a dent guy, your work is usually based on bad weather. If it doesn't hail, you don't usually get to work! Well, Chris has been so busy this year with hail and occasional dents and dings. God has provided for EVERY need and many wants! We are nearing the end of the year and Chris still has several hail cars lined up for when we get back from Georgia and it's DECEMBER! Who has hail work in December!?! Totally a God thing. Chris is still heading up our church's evangelism ministry, Evangelism Explosion. His desire to teach others how to share their faith is almost as strong as his desire to share the Good News himself. He pours his heart into this ministry and the others involved. I'm sure he would tell you how each individual brings something special to EE and how spending time with them sharpens him. I am one blessed woman to have such an encourager as the head of our home! Hope (that would be me) is still enjoying her role as wife, mother, worship leader, Bible study leader, Mary Kay consultant, teacher...you get the picture! It has been a challenging year for me as we were surprised to find out in early March that I was pregnant...again. With.a.baby. Those who know me well, know this is big - as I don't handle pregnancy well. Once again, God granted us favor and he granted me strength to keep leading Sunday worship at our church throughout my entire pregnancy (up to the weekend before baby arrived)! Collin turned 5 this year! Am I old enough to have a five year old!? He is growing up so quickly. I guess that saying, "Blink and you'll miss it!" is quite appropriate for the childhood years. His favorite things right now are: Legos, Mario (wii) and basketball. This kid loves him some basketball! If he can't play it outside, he pretends to play inside. If he can't play inside he wants to play basketball with Daddy on the wii. His favorite NBA teams are the OKC Thunder and Chicago Bulls. He also loves to swim in our pool and is excited to announce he can now swim (in the shallow end) without his life vest, AND he can jump in AND he can swim UNDER WATER! Collin has also begun Kindergarten this year. He is pretty excited, as we made the decision to homeschool this year. Grandma Pat is doing the majority of the academic studies and she is very happy with how much Collin is learning and retaining in his studies! Little Nicholas celebrated his 1st birthday in April! His favorite things are his "inka" (blanket), his "maw-ma" (Grandma), dancing and BALLS! He can spot a ball a mile away and his dance moves are quite a site to see! Our little "force to be reckoned with". He is Mr. Independent and Mr. Adventure all in one. I consider him my mini me. Nicholas is just like his momma! His strong will and love of music is quite a mirror for me and we are so enjoying the little man he is turning in to. Sweet Audrey made her long-awaited appearance on November 2, in the early morning around 2 am. She is a very good baby! Being so new, her life consists of mostly nursing and a whole lot of sleeping! It's amazing how much she has settled in to being a member of our family. Her big brothers are so good with her and VERY protective. Even Nicholas will say "why-in" to tell Mommy that Audrey is crying and run to her rocker and try to give her the pacifier...although he usually sticks it in her eye or her ear! What a busy, quick, exciting year it has been! We are really looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us next year! OK...just to remind you that was from 2013. I am NOT pregnant, nor do I expect to be in the near future (or ever). Also, Nicholas is now celebrating his "Terrific Two's!" and has a vocabulary that amazes me. Although, most people are sure he's speaking Chinese. Collin is celebrating his 6th Birthday this week and our precious Audrey is now 8 1/2 months old. I suppose I'll end this post with a couple pic's from the past 14 months.

Sick to my Stomach

Before you roll your eyes and think, "This girl has got to suck it up and deal with her ailments already", I'm not talking about my morning sickness or pregnancy this time. It's much worse. So. Much. Worse... This morning, as I watched the news, I was sickened by what I heard about our military's stance on proclaiming the name of Jesus Christ between soldiers or even chaplains. Sick to my stomach. At times, I refrain from voicing my opinion on things. Not because I don't have an opinion, but because I don't necessarily know how to properly convey my true feelings in a way where people can make sense of what I'm feeling. But not this time. I'm running across Facebook statuses in my newsfeed that are screaming for...no, DEMANDING...their freedom and right to guns, right to choose (or deny) a life of an unborn child, their right to be homosexual. Sick to my stomach. Very rarely do I see someone praise the name of Jesus Christ. The King of kings and Lord of lords. Sick to my stomach. I want my right to love The Lord my God with all my heart and soul and not be criticized for it. I AM A CHRISTIAN. I AM A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST. I believe the Bible and all it teaches. If you choose to mix the words and take things out of context, that's your problem...your "choice". I'm not going to defend myself just so you can use my words against me. I believe just because. Or maybe it would be better understood if I said I believe because IT IS MY RIGHT!!! ...but here's the thing. It's not my right because the constitution says so. Not because the government says so. It's my right to believe in The Lord Jesus Christ because...the Bible says so. You see, it was written to me! It's a love letter specifically designed and authored for my heart. (And yours too!) This isn't a debate. It. Just. Is. So I want you to know. I am a sinner. I am saved by Grace. I love my Jesus and I want to live as He wants me to live. If you are offended by my "right" then, I understand. I've probably been offended by your right to (fill in the blank). I just think you should know that Jesus loves you. YES YOU! That, my friends, is the best news you will ever hear!

Round Three

This is NOT what I planned. This is not what I expected. This is NOT what I'm ready for! My last post consisted of the amazing journey of welcoming our second child into this great big wonderful world. It's been six mos. Nicholas is 11 mos old now. I should be preparing for a first birthday party for our little man. I should be getting ready to hit the gym hard core to get back to my pre-baby body. I should be planning on our summer trips to tube the "Hooch" and paint Nana's house and camp in the Redwoods and be in a wedding and...you get the idea. It's amazing how our plans seem to get pushed aside by God's plan. We are pleased to share the new plan! Evidently, The Lord feels it best to add another member to the Slegers family. We will be welcoming another baby into our family some time in the late fall. (Oct-Nov) I've got to tell up the thoughts that flood through my mind at this point are totally pregnancy thoughts. Crazy, irrational, selfish thoughts. Yes, I'm sick. Yes, I don't do pregnancy well. But, as my dear husband reminded me, I am pregnant and there is a reason. So here we go for round three. The whole family is excited! Collin keeps praying for mommy to not get the throw ups anymore. He thinks its going to be so cool to have TWO babies in the house. "'Cause Nicholas is going to be a big baby and the new baby is gonna be little!" Obviously, Nicholas is indifferent on the matter as he still feels the world revolves around him. Chris is excited for new life,but concerned for his bride's well-being! (Aww) Gramma is excited and already suggesting we give each child their own room! She's so cool! 'Sure! Take over the whole house!' Haha So now you have the news. Good news. What a blessing to know The Lord entrusts us with his children.

Nicholas James Slegers

Everyone told me, but I couldn't believe it. That is, until April 16 when I fell in love for the third time. I suppose I should back up a bit and start from "the beginning".... It was Sunday morning and I was preparing for church. I was quite discouraged because I was STILL pregnant and was feeling like I would never have this baby. But I chose to set aside my personal feelings and to stay true to the call of ministry. Now don't get me wrong. I did not want to be in church. I did not want to sing. I did not want to socialize and be polite as everyone said, "Any day now!" in that annoying sing-song voice. I wanted my baby. I wanted to feel his soft skin and gaze into his (what I assumed to be) big blue eyes. I wanted to cuddle and embrace my little one in my arms as he peacefully nursed at my breast. I was ready. Wasn't I? So we went to church; Daddy, Mommy, Collin, Grandma and Miss Marie. I'd like to say it was nice to see everyone and to lead a great worship service, but I would be telling a lie. But I did it anyway as I've learned it's not about how I feel. Sometimes we just have to do it anyway. When church was over, I was walking down the stairs when I felt like there was an "emergency". I'm a grown woman! Grown women don't "wet" themselves. I didn't believe this was my water breaking. It was nothing like it shows in the movies or on tv. So I didn't tell anyone. I just figured contractions would come if it was real. So I continued my day as usual. We went to lunch and then Chris headed out for the last day of FriendQuest for the semester. I did give him a heads-up about the possibility of a trip to the hospital, just in case. I took Collin home and put him in bed for his afternoon nap and Pat suggested I lay down and rest. I figured it would be good, because I had started very slightyly contracting. After laying down for a whole five minutes I decided to send my mom a text that read something like this: me: THEORETICALLY SPEAKING, IF MY WATER BROKE, WOULD I START HAVING CONTRACTIONS? Mom: NOT necessarily. WHAT'S WRONG? Me: WELL...MINE MIGHT HAVE BROKE AT CHURCH, BUT NO CONTRACTIONS. I'M SURE IT'S A FALSE ALARM. Mom: GO TO THE HOSPITAL! Me: I THINK IM GONNA TAKE A NAP FIRST...DON'T TELL ANYONE OK? Mom: I ALREADY TOLD DAD, RUSTY, GRANDPA AND GRAMMA. WE ALL THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Me: YES MAM. I went downstairs and told Pat all that was going on and she said, let's go! I woke Collin up from his nap, and we headed to the hospital for what I was sure was a false alarm. Nicholas James Slegers arrived the following morning (if you can call it that) at around 2 in the morning! The on-call doctor delivered him and placed him on my abdomen and I think my first words were "Hi little man!... Why isn't he crying?" he wasn't crying. He just looked at me and then the nurses took him to the warmer. Something wasn't right. One of his arms didn't seem to be moving. It was limp. The nurses called a specialist in to check on him and she said he seemed to be ok. They just kept an eye on him for the rest of the hospital stay. I am happy to say Nicholas was doing quite well by the time we left the hospital! After a whirlwind of visitors, friends and family, we have been able to settle into our new normal. I am always amazed at how deeply we are loved. It shows through the outpouring of love and prayers we receive during these most treasured moments! I'm learning how to be a wife, mother of two, daughter, friend, organizer, accountant, and Godly woman I can be with help from the Father! I am so forever blessed!

Come on BABY!

I'm in the stage of pregnancy where I.AM.DONE.
Those of you who have been there know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about waking up each morning, looking down at my ever-growing mid-section and thinking "Darn, still pregnant." Now don't get me wrong. I feel so blessed to be able to even carry a child to full term. (I am, after all, 37 1/2 weeks.) Praise God for that...I'm just struggling with the "Praise God for the discomfort and sickness and lovely side-effects of pregnancy" part. I'm ready to meet this kid. I'm ready to be able to see my feet...or at least be able to bend over and TOUCH them! I think I'm even ready to look like I'm still pregnant even though I had a baby 14 weeks ago...okay, okay. THAT is a little exaggerated, but you get my drift.
Chris is ready for a more pleasant wife.
Collin would like his mommy's lap back.
Oh yeah, and I was informed by my precious gift (Collin) that he really didn't think he wanted a boy baby anymore. A girl will be just fine! Uh...hate to disappoint you kiddo!
The joys of pregnancy seem to skip this mommy-to-be. I am not a good pregnant person. But I am still me...sort-of. Perhaps I need to be writing down what I am thankful for this time around? Let's see:
1. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to keep up with my commitments. I not only lead worship every Sunday morning, but I've taken up the Ladies Bible Study. I've not had to skip my Sunday's (except for the one Sunday after an ER visit).
2. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me the opportunity to minister at Heart Attack! This was big deal for me with the demand on my health (voice and physical) AND this was the first camp I didn't have to deal with sinus problems.
3. Thank you, Lord, for two baby showers! I have several friends who want to celebrate and feel this baby is just as special as my first and therefore, needs to be showered too! So I had two baby showers in March. WHAT A BLESSING!!!
4. I'm thankful I have been able to take a prenatal vitamin this time around. I wasn't able to keep ANYTHING down with my first pregnancy so I'm pretty pumped this kid will be well nourished.
5. Thank you, Lord, for revealing how much I do NOT know. It makes me rely on HIM more and not myself. It amazes me, the strength that comes from my hope in Him.
Theres much more I AM thankful for, but I need a nap! OH! So I am thankful for all the naps I've been able to take too!
More to come once this baby arrives! I'll post pics too!

And so it begins...

What an incredible past year! As January comes to a close, I wonder what new and exciting events the Lord has in store for our family for 2012. I am not a "new year's resolution" kind of girl, but I do believe we should always be striving to be better. More Christ-like. Do I reflect Him more today than I did yesterday? When I look in the mirror, am I more concerend about outward beauty, or the beautiful Life that should be within? I want others to see Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I still very much want to be pleasing to others...just not at the expense of my salvation. Jesus just wants my heart (yours too) and it amazes me how much more beautiful a lover of Jesus looks to me! THAT's what I resolve this year. I got a great album this Christmas and there is a song that the Slegers family has decided will be our family's mission statement. I highly encourage you and your family to make one as well. It doesn't have to be a song or poem, just what you want your family to be known for! (Feel free to use this one. I did.)

"I'm done building my own kingdom.
No more seeking worthless idols.
Like sheep, we have all gone astray
we must choose this day whom we will serve.

As for me and my house
We will serve the Lord
Idols raised - tear them down
We will serve the Lord

TO ONE KING WE BOW DOWN
AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE
WE WILL ONLY SERVE THE LORD!

I'm done with powerless religion
No more living in deception
Like sheep, we have all gone astray
we must choose this day whom we will serve.

And we will not give our
hearts to another
We will not give our
hearts to another
We will ONLY SERVE THE LORD"
-John Waller AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE

Slegers Christmas Newsletter 2011

Greetings Family and Friends!
Can you believe another year has come and gone? It amazes me how much changes in the small window of one year. I love to watch how God works in our lives and in the lives of others through different events, big or small as they seem. Let me try to give a short recap of the Slegers family’s year and what is happening in our lives.
Chris is still working his dent business, 82nd Dent Repair, and is doing wonderfully! The Lord has been so good to us and continues to provide for our family through Chris’s work. Chris is also heading up our church’s FriendQuest ministry as he trains believers how to share their faith and the Good News. This is where his passion is and it fits Chris’s personality perfectly! (Ask anyone.)
I (Hope) am enjoying the life of a stay at home mommy. I didn’t realize the “work” that goes into this home business! I figured a few games, educational television programs and a healthy snack was all I’d need. Little did I know that along with the title of homemaker came financial administrator, full time housekeeper, short-order cook, nurse, pharmacist and teacher were also in the job description. (Along with many other tasks. The list is just too long to type it all out! LOL) Mom’s out there, thank you, for your example of how to keep sane in the midst of chaos! I’m still selling Mary Kay and enjoy the experience and the friendships that come with it. My passion, however, is still the music ministry I’ve been heading up for the last 10 years! I love our little church with the most genuine fellowship of believers. How God still blesses me and these people minister to me as I lead worship with our worship team!
Little Collin is now 3 years old! He is just…amazing! (Forgive me for gushing, but have you MET him!?!) He currently loves to read “the Jesus book” aka the Bible. He likes soccer, basketball and baseball. Collin was able to join a 6 and under soccer team this fall and loved getting a trophy at the end of the season! He was so proud of himself. Needless to say, so were his Mommy and Daddy! Our sweet boy is growing up so fast.
I said, I’d give you a recap of our year so here we go: Our year started out pretty hectic, but things slowed down after a bit. We had a great camp Heart Attack in March. In June, Collin and I were able to go visit Nana and B-pa in Georgia. Aunt


Chrissy and the kiddos met us there too! July was crazy busy. And hard. And sad. It started off with a trip to Idaho for a camp that was beyond amazing! We met so many great people there and have such fond memories that I’m sure will be cherished for a long time. It was a great time of ministry but also difficult as we found out a dear friend had passed away and we would not be home for the memorial service. We spent two weeks on our ministry trip and then after being home not even a week, I got the dreaded call that my Grampy had passed away. What a challenging time. Why in the world would God allow such heartache as a loss as great as these? What a precious time. How God brought me such peace in the midst of a loss as great! He is forever FAITHFUL, friends! What love and hope he brings those who seek it!
Out of such pain and loss there is hope. Ours came with the news that Collin is going to be a Big Brother to a little boy!!! I think this came to remind us that there can be joy in the midst of sorrow. Collin REALLY wanted a girl baby, but when I explained all the fun that brothers could have…he’s not quite as disappointed. Baby boy Slegers is due in April and we would greatly appreciate your prayers for our growing family.
I suppose the past months seem to blend in together. Our church celebrated it’s 10th Anniversary in September. I suppose a milestone for me is I celebrated (I use that term loosely) my…gulp…30th birthday. I actually think I got another gray hair just typing that message… Okay deep breath, moving on! At the beginning of this month the three of us took our last “family of 3 vacation” to Branson, MO. We took Collin to the Dixie Stampede. His highlight, the “free” pre-show, where a young man juggled. But we all enjoyed the dinner and show as well! On our way home, we stopped at the Talking Rocks Cavern and took their tour down into the cavern.
So that’s it! We plan on celebrating Christmas in Georgia this year so I have a bit of packing to do. I hope this note finds you blessed and full of God’s grace. May your Christmas be one to remember this year as we celebrate the greatest Gift the world could ever know, Emmanuel, GOD WITH US!

Peace and Love to you,
Chris, Hope and Collin Slegers

My Lap is SHRINKING!

Caught your attention, didn't it? How, you ask, does someone's lap shrink? Well...my lap isn't really shrinking as much as my abdomen is swelling. And I can't make it stop. If I could, I probably stil wouldn't. You see, there is a baby in there and it is growing and therefore the cause of all of this expansion and remodeling of my body. It's super I must say...unfortunately, only some of you will catch the sarcasm in my "voice".
You see, I'm not a good pregnant person. It doesn't suit me. I am sick...all the time. My insides feel like they are currently being moved around (which they REALLY are), but it's not movement of the baby I'm feeling...yet!
I am in my 16th week of pregnancy and I should begin feeling some movement very soon. This is exciting news, as I have to say again, pregnancy is not my favorite part of life.

I also feel like I should write down some pretty funny stories of my favorite boy in the whole wide world. {NOTE: Baby Slegers #2 - please do not be offended that I call Collin my favorite. At this moment in time he is! I'm sure, when you arrive, I will feel the same way about you!}

Story#1:
Chris, Collin and I were at Target. The guys were looking at toys and I was going through the unmentionables department. Chris came over to me and put Collin in my cart so he could go to the restroom without a little 3 yr old. As I continued to browse my department, Collin asked, "Mom, what's those?" As I quickly searched for an appropriate way to tell my son what I was looking at I quickly came up with, "These are undergarments." To which my sweet, innocent boy immediately replies, "Oh...I wike undergarments!"

Story#2:
Our family was shopping at Mardel one evening and Collin (who is currently being potty trained) let us know he needed to...um...use the facilities. Chris volunteered to take him to the restroom. As they spent their time with little man on the throne, he hears an announcement come over the store's loudspeaker and Collin politely yells out, "No tanks, I fink we would just wike some ice cream." Chris asked him what he was saying and Collin says..."I'm just talking to the lady."
*Clearly we have been at the drive through way too many times!*

Other funny things about being three years old:
1. Collin is very excited to be a big brother. He likes to rub my belly and say, "Oh! Your baby is so beautiful!"
2. He thinks the opening in the front of his new big boy underwear is a pocket.
3. Birthdays last all year! It's always SOMEONES birthday.
4. Your 3 yr old will cheer YOU on for using the big potty!
5. Soccer
6. Collin loves to play sword fight...especially with his grandma.

This is the life we are currently living. Chris and I are so very blessed! Our little boy is so very blessed! We love this life journey we are on and we would not be here without our Savior and Lord. Christ completes life and is the whole reason we are who we are.

And we're loving every minute of it!

Update Summer 2011

More info to come in the very near future but here is a summary of my summer.

June 2011 - Collin and I took a trip to GA to visit Nana and B-pa for 10 days. Let's just say that 10 days is way too long to spend without the daddy figure in the picture.

July 2011 - Appx. two weeks after Collin and I returned home from GA, Chris and I went on a mission trip to Idaho. So much fun! Beautiful views, AWESOME cool weather, and amazing people! The church spent about a week there and then headed down to Colorado for a few nights in the Rockies. Unfortunately, as we were driving to ID, Chris and I got a phone call informing us of the death of our old boss. He wasn't old, he was just a former boss. A great man and friend.

When we returned to OK from our two week mission trip/vacation, I recieved a phone call from my mom that my grandfather was in bad shape and I probably needed to be prepared for the worst. About a week after I was home, I got the call at 4:45 am on July 26 that Grampy was no longer with us. Amazingly, I was packed and ready for my flight that very afternoon. It was very challenging time for all of us, but my heart is mostly heavy for my Grammy who is now living alone.

I am now home and things are still quite busy. I have much to share but have to save it for another time.

Seriously?

So it's been around 6 mos since I've updated, but here goes:
Went on vacation for Thanksgiving.
Found out we would be "housing" two nieces for a while.
Nana and B-pa came for Christmas and brought GG and Gramma Pretty too.
New year starts and I become a super-mom and start my babysitting job.
Good time for camp "Heart Attack" at Jacobs Ladder in March.
Girls get to go back home.
Tornado.
Plan on GA trip.

There you go!
(Pictures to come)