I realize that as I get older, I become wiser. I see that the perfect little world I was brought up in does not always just exist - it has to be created. My mom and dad did a wonderful job of protecting and guarding our hearts as we grew up at home. I have taken many parenting lessons from them and have applied them in my own home. Now this post isn't about my parenting skills or even my parents' parenting skills (however great they may be). Here is where it all begins....
Our church does a youth camp every spring break called "Heart Attack". It is one of our most fruitful ministries and I hope that it continues for years to come. We camp, of course, and play games and have team events...all the usual "camp stuff". Now anyone who has ever heard of church camps or even attended them realize there is a cost to pull these off. Our church has done a wonderful job of footing the bill to make the cost for each camper as minimal as possible. (I hear the average cost of camp per day is around $100 A DAY and our camp costs only a fraction of that FOR THE WHOLE 4 day CAMP.) Now any church you attend probably has what they like to call camp scholarships where an un-named donor sponsors a camper who may not be able to afford the camp. These people are angels in my opinion b/c most of the time, these donors no longer have children at home or may not even have children, but they know the impact that these events can have on the young lives that are attending.
In our ministry we try to include everyone and so we have our children's camp and then the youth camp. There is always a little flexibility in our age group for the youth (usually around 12 yrs and up). If there are kids who are younger - all we require is that they have a parent who attends with them, as we are not staffed to babysit young children. This seems reasonable to me. Here is where my anger management comes in. As I was so gracious (said with all the sarcasm in my heart) to offer to be the register-er for camp, I get to collect money, notarize medical release forms and ANSWER QUESTIONS honestly, etc. Well, there is a young camper - under the youth camp age - who sent a text message asking if their parent could do a payment plan to pay for camp. I informed said person that we don't really have a payment plan, but they need to make sure their parent came to camp with them. I did not receive an immediate reply, but about an hour later, I got a text message from the parent like this:
'[my child] has already worked something out with [a staff member] and they said you could work something out. But since you won't, [my child] just won't come to church anymore.'
(Big sigh...along with an 'well that is fine by me' thought...then an AHHHHHHHHH!)
I had to pray about how to respond with tact and understanding. Knowing full well that apparently this child's salvation and future in being a part of our church lies solely in my hands. (I know, again with the sarcasm.) After cooling off, I texted back, 'Well if you've already worked something out, that's fine. I just didn't know about it.'
I called my husband to let him know that we may have lost a child because I answered a question they had already worked out with someone else. I also informed him that I did not feel I was wrong and would not apologize for it. Let's get something straight. I HATE MANIPULATION! If you want to anger me - try it. You'll see.
"Well if my kid (who is under-age) can't go to camp (without a parent) under my terms (they say payment plan - and it means for free) then they will no longer go to church (and it will be your fault)!"
Honestly, I wanted to say okay, don't let this kid come anymore. But I didn't. All I know is that this parent is training their child to become a manipulator. I'll do this - if you do that. I suppose we should all raise our children to DEMAND what they want and if they don't get it, that's okay, just throw a fit and threaten with all you have until they do it! AHHHHHH!
Our church does a youth camp every spring break called "Heart Attack". It is one of our most fruitful ministries and I hope that it continues for years to come. We camp, of course, and play games and have team events...all the usual "camp stuff". Now anyone who has ever heard of church camps or even attended them realize there is a cost to pull these off. Our church has done a wonderful job of footing the bill to make the cost for each camper as minimal as possible. (I hear the average cost of camp per day is around $100 A DAY and our camp costs only a fraction of that FOR THE WHOLE 4 day CAMP.) Now any church you attend probably has what they like to call camp scholarships where an un-named donor sponsors a camper who may not be able to afford the camp. These people are angels in my opinion b/c most of the time, these donors no longer have children at home or may not even have children, but they know the impact that these events can have on the young lives that are attending.
In our ministry we try to include everyone and so we have our children's camp and then the youth camp. There is always a little flexibility in our age group for the youth (usually around 12 yrs and up). If there are kids who are younger - all we require is that they have a parent who attends with them, as we are not staffed to babysit young children. This seems reasonable to me. Here is where my anger management comes in. As I was so gracious (said with all the sarcasm in my heart) to offer to be the register-er for camp, I get to collect money, notarize medical release forms and ANSWER QUESTIONS honestly, etc. Well, there is a young camper - under the youth camp age - who sent a text message asking if their parent could do a payment plan to pay for camp. I informed said person that we don't really have a payment plan, but they need to make sure their parent came to camp with them. I did not receive an immediate reply, but about an hour later, I got a text message from the parent like this:
'[my child] has already worked something out with [a staff member] and they said you could work something out. But since you won't, [my child] just won't come to church anymore.'
(Big sigh...along with an 'well that is fine by me' thought...then an AHHHHHHHHH!)
I had to pray about how to respond with tact and understanding. Knowing full well that apparently this child's salvation and future in being a part of our church lies solely in my hands. (I know, again with the sarcasm.) After cooling off, I texted back, 'Well if you've already worked something out, that's fine. I just didn't know about it.'
I called my husband to let him know that we may have lost a child because I answered a question they had already worked out with someone else. I also informed him that I did not feel I was wrong and would not apologize for it. Let's get something straight. I HATE MANIPULATION! If you want to anger me - try it. You'll see.
"Well if my kid (who is under-age) can't go to camp (without a parent) under my terms (they say payment plan - and it means for free) then they will no longer go to church (and it will be your fault)!"
Honestly, I wanted to say okay, don't let this kid come anymore. But I didn't. All I know is that this parent is training their child to become a manipulator. I'll do this - if you do that. I suppose we should all raise our children to DEMAND what they want and if they don't get it, that's okay, just throw a fit and threaten with all you have until they do it! AHHHHHH!
